Tis the season for a nice holiday vacation with the family. But not the kind that you see in the movies or cozy Christmas commercials where everyone is sitting by the fire sipping hot cocoa in their matching pajamas etc. No, not at all! We decided at the last minute to take a road trip to California to visit my husband's family for Christmas. He doesn't get to see them very often, and was a little homesick. Why not? I have all the time in the world, it could be fun to get out of town for a while, and I want our daughter to get to know the other side of her family.
The thing is, our road trips can be pretty intense. There is no stopping to see the sites, eating at quaint diners, making small talk with the locals in the small towns we're passing thru. Our trips are not for the faint of heart. They are high octane, fly by the seat of your pants, ride or die adventures. Hold on or get left!! That goes for the baby too! LOL!
Friday morning I hear some rustling in the living room, then I'm awakened by a blinding flash of light. "Get up, it's time to go!" he says. I squint my eyes to look at the alarm clock and it's 3 in the morning!!! "Get up!!! We have to go!!!" After my eyesight returns to me, I get up, throw on my sweatpants, change the baby's diaper and off we go. I've never been a morning person, but being woken up in such a violent fashion really brings out the BI%^&CH in me! We don't even make it to the freeway before I've barked out some sarcastic comments to which he replied in kind. Nothing like the holidays to bring out the ugly in a relationship.
Once we're on the freeway, and I've had my 40 ounces of coffee, things start to level out and it's smooth sailing. We drive, nonstop - except to use the bathroom, diaper changes, and stops at fast food drive thru's (going in takes too much time)- for 13 straight hours!!! The ride was pretty fun for the most part. It was nice just talking to each other. Normally we're so busy living life, that it seems like we forget to make the time to really check in with each other. We get to my mother-in-law's house, go out to eat, and then crash for the night. The baby slept pretty good too, which was nice.
Christmas morning, we get up eat breakfast, and get ready for the 2 hour trek from Sacramento to Hayward to visit his aunt for the night. About an hour into the drive, I get a call from Mother Nature telling me that we need to stop the car ASAP or I'm gonna be really sorry. My bladder has never fully recovered after childbirth, so this happens from time to time.
I pull off the freeway and find a Denny's to stop. The parking lot is packed and I didn't realize it, but I was driving the wrong way around the parking lot. There is a truck heading in the opposite and correct direction, but there's plenty of room for both us to pass each other, so I can't figure out why he stopped. Oh well, I have to pee, so I just drive past him. I hear some snickering from the passenger seat, I look over and ask my husband what's so funny!!!! He said the guy in the truck just flipped me off!!!!! LOL!!!!!!! There's no parking place open so I drive around the building again (in the wrong direction), and the same truck is heading around again too (in the right direction). I look at him, and he FLIPS ME OFF AGAIN!!!!! He held his middle finger up for what seemed like a really long time. This really pissed off my husband, so he leans over me and slams his middle finger up against the driver-side window!!! So now we have two adult men flipping each other off in a Denny's parking lot on Christmas morning! Not to mention the insults they were shouting at each other (but neiter could hear because the windows were rolled up). Finally we stop, and he says (and I quote) "Hurry up and go to the bathroom so we can leave before I have to get out of the car and BEAT that little mother fucker's ass!!!!" LOLOLOL!!!!!!! I go in, take care of business, and off we go. We later laughed about it. I just went to Denny's to pee. He was there to celebrate Christmas!!! Who's the chump now?
We get to Aunt Nona's, open presents, eat lots and have an altogether good time. Unfortunately the baby did not nap that day, and she was really cranky when it was time for bed. Finaly she goes to sleep. That is until I hear insane screaming and whaling from upstairs. I go up to see what's happened, and I run into our little 5 year old cousin on his way out of the bedroom. Apparently he thought it would fun to shine a flashlight in the baby's face while she slept (you know, so she wouldn't be afraid of the dark). After about an hour she goes back to sleep. I go downstairs, and my husband hands me a tall glass of vodka with a splash of soda in it. I take couple sips, and off to bed I go.
Sunday morning my husband tells me that we are going to go to church to see more cousins and aunts and family (from his dad's side) to say hi and so they can see the baby. The problem is, I didn't really bring "church clothes". The church I go to (when I actually go to church) has no real dress code. I could show up in my sweatpants and a hoodie, and no one would give me a second look. This church is a little different. The men wear 3 piece suits and the women are in their dress suits and hats and heels etc. I dug through the arsenol of sweatpants in my suitcase and found a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that didn't have food stains from the baby and off to church we go. We pull up into the church parking, and notice a wretched smell coming from the backseat. The baby took an epic dump. This was a 7-wipe job!! I get her out of the carseat, change her diaper, and we start heading into the church. I have the dirty diaper in one hand (it was too stinky to leave in the car) and the baby in the other. I look and look for a garbage can, but there's not one to be found. It's bad enough that I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt to church, but I couldn't bear the idea of walking in holding a poop-filled diaper too. So, I put the diaper in my purse. :-) We sit by one of the aunts, give hugs and kisses etc., all the while I can smell the poop fumes coming out of my purse!!! I see a bathroom, excuse myself, and dump it. I think I can still smell it.
The rest of the day was spent driving all over, visiting people, eating and more driving. I found a kindred spirit in the wife of one of the cousins. She's about my age, was recenly laid off, and is struggling with the adjustment a little with her new life as a stay at home mom. She has THREE kids, I can't imagine how she stays sane. She even had on sweatpants!!! We hit it off right away, I hope to see them again.
Monday morning we got up, and drove the 13 hours back home. I think my daughter has post traumatic stress disorder from being trapped in her carseat for so long. She cried the last 3 hours of the trip....
It feels so good to be home. Can't wait for things to get back to normal (whatever that means).
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Attention PLEASE!!!
Lately I've been feeling a lot more high maintenance and needy than usual. Honestly, right now I am hungry,starving, DESPERATE for attention!!!! If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, does it make a sound if there's no one there to hear it? I am that tree. I have fallen. I think I made a sound, but all the other trees are just going on with their daily lives and business as usual.
I feel like I need several hours to talk soley about myself, my dreams, fears, losses, happiness. All about ME, without interruption. I need to be focus of attention for a while. I feel invisible, and I don't like it!!!! Can someone say "Got Therapy??"
Yes, I have wonderful groups of friends that I get to hold court with from time to time. But our gatherings are far and few between, and usually we're so happy just to see each other and catch up, that time goes flies by and its time to go home. And once the wine gets flowing and we start getting giddy, we just laugh and talk about whatever comes up. I love those nights, even if I'm not the focus of attention for the ENTIRE evening. Don't judge, I said at the beginning of this post that I'm feeling high maintenance.
Yes, I have a husband. And while he may be a sexy beast, he is also a man. This unfortunately means that his interest and tolerance for talking with me, about me, for hours on end is pretty minimal. In fact, I usually have about a 10-minute window of discussion with him before he tunes out, and things start to go south.
They say desperate times call for desperate measures. So much so that I've fantasized about putting my sweatpants away (don't worry love, it's just for a little while), and putting on something that accentuates my lovely lady lumps. I'm thinking skin tight jeans, super low cut shirt, high heels, siren red lipstick etc........ Then I'd take a stroll past a few construction sites as see how many cat calls and whistles and honks I can get!!!! It would be a definite ego booster, as shallow as it may be. I love a cheap thrill as long as no one gets hurt, and no laws or marriage vows get broken.
But unfortunately, every fantasy has an equal and opposite REALITY. And the reality is that there is no construction going on right now, so I'd be walking around, all glammed up, past empty holes in the ground!!! There would be no one to honk or whistle. LOL!!! Also, I'd probably have the baby with me because wherever I go she goes. Babies are the new accessories of 2010. Am I the only one that got the memo??? With my luck it would start pouring down rain, and I would slip and fall (since I can't walk in heels to save my life) and split my pants! My shirt (probably white) would be completely soaked through, REALLY putting "the girls" on display, my makeup running down my face giving me racoon eyes, a rip down my pants, all while I'm wobbling in my heels pushing a stroller down an empy street. NOT HOT!!!! That "S" on my chest (see previous post) would stand for SKANKY instead of Superwoman. LOL!!!
So I've decided that a healthier, more family and marriage friendly way of getting attention will be to tell my friends about this blog. That will be my cheap thrill of the day! Its kind of scary putting myself out there, but what's the worst that could happen?
I feel like I need several hours to talk soley about myself, my dreams, fears, losses, happiness. All about ME, without interruption. I need to be focus of attention for a while. I feel invisible, and I don't like it!!!! Can someone say "Got Therapy??"
Yes, I have wonderful groups of friends that I get to hold court with from time to time. But our gatherings are far and few between, and usually we're so happy just to see each other and catch up, that time goes flies by and its time to go home. And once the wine gets flowing and we start getting giddy, we just laugh and talk about whatever comes up. I love those nights, even if I'm not the focus of attention for the ENTIRE evening. Don't judge, I said at the beginning of this post that I'm feeling high maintenance.
Yes, I have a husband. And while he may be a sexy beast, he is also a man. This unfortunately means that his interest and tolerance for talking with me, about me, for hours on end is pretty minimal. In fact, I usually have about a 10-minute window of discussion with him before he tunes out, and things start to go south.
They say desperate times call for desperate measures. So much so that I've fantasized about putting my sweatpants away (don't worry love, it's just for a little while), and putting on something that accentuates my lovely lady lumps. I'm thinking skin tight jeans, super low cut shirt, high heels, siren red lipstick etc........ Then I'd take a stroll past a few construction sites as see how many cat calls and whistles and honks I can get!!!! It would be a definite ego booster, as shallow as it may be. I love a cheap thrill as long as no one gets hurt, and no laws or marriage vows get broken.
But unfortunately, every fantasy has an equal and opposite REALITY. And the reality is that there is no construction going on right now, so I'd be walking around, all glammed up, past empty holes in the ground!!! There would be no one to honk or whistle. LOL!!! Also, I'd probably have the baby with me because wherever I go she goes. Babies are the new accessories of 2010. Am I the only one that got the memo??? With my luck it would start pouring down rain, and I would slip and fall (since I can't walk in heels to save my life) and split my pants! My shirt (probably white) would be completely soaked through, REALLY putting "the girls" on display, my makeup running down my face giving me racoon eyes, a rip down my pants, all while I'm wobbling in my heels pushing a stroller down an empy street. NOT HOT!!!! That "S" on my chest (see previous post) would stand for SKANKY instead of Superwoman. LOL!!!
So I've decided that a healthier, more family and marriage friendly way of getting attention will be to tell my friends about this blog. That will be my cheap thrill of the day! Its kind of scary putting myself out there, but what's the worst that could happen?
Saturday, December 18, 2010
"S" on My Chest
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's SUPERWOMAN!!!!
Crazy days are among us! I have been so busy lately, I'm convinced that the only reason I haven't lost my mind (or my temper for that matter) is because I have super powers that I've never tapped into...
Today I woke up at 4am to a crying baby. I got up, fed her and put her back to sleep. I then got up again at about 8am fed her again. After feeding her I washed all the dishes - we don't have an automatic dishwasher, I AM THE DISHWASHER. Then I dried them, put them away, wiped down the counter and swept the floor. My daughter is in the phase where she thinks it's fun to throw all leftover food on the floor when she's not hungry anymore, so the floor can get pretty gross. So I decided to go ahead and mop the floor - now was as good a time as any.
Uh oh.... Someone did a poopie!!!! Time for a diaper change. She's also decided it's fun to put her hand on her butt when it's changing time!!! Gross!!! But it's up to Superwoman to make sure her child has a clean bum and hands and face etc - she must press on.
I figure since the kitchen in pretty clean, maybe I'll do a little more housework. I love a clean house, which has been a pretty rare occurance lately. I vacuum the living room and bedrooms, scrub the bathtub, dust and dump the garbage, all with the baby chomping at my feet. I think might have stepped on her once or twice, by accident of course.
At this point I'm working up a small sweat and realize it's time for the baby's lunch and nap (hopefully), and my 12th cup of coffee and a chance to take a shower and kick my feet up for a minute. NOT!!!!!!! After lunch, there is no napping!!!!! Nap-free days are especially long because she gets REALLY CRANKY!!!! It's pouring down rain outside, so we stay in and play with blocks and stuffed animals, and she goes through all of the lower cabinets in the kitchen and proceeds to pull out all of the pots and pans and lids. I put them back when she moves on to something else to "play" with.
It's the afternoon now, and I think maybe I should get started on dinner. I really enjoy cooking, and lately I've found particular joy in having something yummy cooking in the oven just in time for when my husband gets home. I've been getting in touch with my inner June Cleaver or something, although I'm not sure how or when that happened. Unfortunately there isn't much food in the house, so I decide to go grocery shopping.
Purse? Check.
Keys? Check.
Baby? Check.
Sweatpants? Of course!!!!
BIG MISTAKE!!!!! At the store, my daughter decides to have a meltdown. She's totally exhausted and whining and throwing her head back. She's trying to climb out of the cart to reach the cereal boxes and pretty much anything within arm's reach. I keep my cool, finish my shopping (quickly) and get out of there!!!
We get home, she's balling and won't eat or drink anything. I put her in her high chair and decide that we are going to have a cooking class. She loves to watch me cook! It's pretty sweet. Before I know it she's calmed down, drinking out of her sippy cup and peacefully watching me chop and season the food. I GOT SKILLZ!!!!
My husband gets home from work. He walks in, hugs and plays with the baby for a minute. He sits down on the couch, turns on the game (football, basketball - whatever), and picks up the baby's toothbrush that was sitting on the couch. She has a habit of picking things up and putting them in various locations. I didn't even know it was there. He says to me, "What is this doing here? Is it "clean"?" (Yes, he used the rabbit ears to ephasize the word clean). He had made a comment recently about how when I clean, I don't really clean, I just kind of wipe the dirt around or something.
Ackward silence.
I had to muster up all of my super powers not to fry out his eyeballs with my x-ray vision!!!!!!!! Deep breath, let it go. Super heroes don't concern themselves with thoughtless comments of mere mortals.
We all ate dinner. The baby threw half of hers on the floor. I put her to bed, and my husband retreated to the basement (aka The Man Cave) to unwind and watch more sports. What's that I hear??? Oh, it's SILENCE!!!! Mission Accomplished.
Now it's time for me to hang up my cape and relax.
Scalding hot water? Check
Aromatherapy bubble bath? Check
Scented Candles? Check
Obscenely tall glass of cheap red wine? Come to mama!! Oops, I mean "Check"!!
Aahhhh, relaxation...... Until tomorrow, we when do it all over again!
Crazy days are among us! I have been so busy lately, I'm convinced that the only reason I haven't lost my mind (or my temper for that matter) is because I have super powers that I've never tapped into...
Today I woke up at 4am to a crying baby. I got up, fed her and put her back to sleep. I then got up again at about 8am fed her again. After feeding her I washed all the dishes - we don't have an automatic dishwasher, I AM THE DISHWASHER. Then I dried them, put them away, wiped down the counter and swept the floor. My daughter is in the phase where she thinks it's fun to throw all leftover food on the floor when she's not hungry anymore, so the floor can get pretty gross. So I decided to go ahead and mop the floor - now was as good a time as any.
Uh oh.... Someone did a poopie!!!! Time for a diaper change. She's also decided it's fun to put her hand on her butt when it's changing time!!! Gross!!! But it's up to Superwoman to make sure her child has a clean bum and hands and face etc - she must press on.
I figure since the kitchen in pretty clean, maybe I'll do a little more housework. I love a clean house, which has been a pretty rare occurance lately. I vacuum the living room and bedrooms, scrub the bathtub, dust and dump the garbage, all with the baby chomping at my feet. I think might have stepped on her once or twice, by accident of course.
At this point I'm working up a small sweat and realize it's time for the baby's lunch and nap (hopefully), and my 12th cup of coffee and a chance to take a shower and kick my feet up for a minute. NOT!!!!!!! After lunch, there is no napping!!!!! Nap-free days are especially long because she gets REALLY CRANKY!!!! It's pouring down rain outside, so we stay in and play with blocks and stuffed animals, and she goes through all of the lower cabinets in the kitchen and proceeds to pull out all of the pots and pans and lids. I put them back when she moves on to something else to "play" with.
It's the afternoon now, and I think maybe I should get started on dinner. I really enjoy cooking, and lately I've found particular joy in having something yummy cooking in the oven just in time for when my husband gets home. I've been getting in touch with my inner June Cleaver or something, although I'm not sure how or when that happened. Unfortunately there isn't much food in the house, so I decide to go grocery shopping.
Purse? Check.
Keys? Check.
Baby? Check.
Sweatpants? Of course!!!!
BIG MISTAKE!!!!! At the store, my daughter decides to have a meltdown. She's totally exhausted and whining and throwing her head back. She's trying to climb out of the cart to reach the cereal boxes and pretty much anything within arm's reach. I keep my cool, finish my shopping (quickly) and get out of there!!!
We get home, she's balling and won't eat or drink anything. I put her in her high chair and decide that we are going to have a cooking class. She loves to watch me cook! It's pretty sweet. Before I know it she's calmed down, drinking out of her sippy cup and peacefully watching me chop and season the food. I GOT SKILLZ!!!!
My husband gets home from work. He walks in, hugs and plays with the baby for a minute. He sits down on the couch, turns on the game (football, basketball - whatever), and picks up the baby's toothbrush that was sitting on the couch. She has a habit of picking things up and putting them in various locations. I didn't even know it was there. He says to me, "What is this doing here? Is it "clean"?" (Yes, he used the rabbit ears to ephasize the word clean). He had made a comment recently about how when I clean, I don't really clean, I just kind of wipe the dirt around or something.
Ackward silence.
I had to muster up all of my super powers not to fry out his eyeballs with my x-ray vision!!!!!!!! Deep breath, let it go. Super heroes don't concern themselves with thoughtless comments of mere mortals.
We all ate dinner. The baby threw half of hers on the floor. I put her to bed, and my husband retreated to the basement (aka The Man Cave) to unwind and watch more sports. What's that I hear??? Oh, it's SILENCE!!!! Mission Accomplished.
Now it's time for me to hang up my cape and relax.
Scalding hot water? Check
Aromatherapy bubble bath? Check
Scented Candles? Check
Obscenely tall glass of cheap red wine? Come to mama!! Oops, I mean "Check"!!
Aahhhh, relaxation...... Until tomorrow, we when do it all over again!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
A Shoutout to All the Single Moms!
I have to give big props to all the ladies out there trying to raise one, or more (gasp!), little children into productive members of society, on their own (even if they ARE married - yeah, I went there). All while still trying to maintain their sense of self, and pay all the bills, and do the housework, and cook, and help with the homework, and, and, and, AND - the list never stops!!!!
While I am NOT a single mother, I have been pretty much doing everything by myself when it comes to taking care of my daughter. Day and night. And boy, those nights can get to be pretty long. Last night was especially long because she got up at 2am and 4am, and when she finally went back to sleep, I was wide awake. The middle of the night is when I do most of my thinking. It's like my mind is running a constant commentary that has no off switch. I am completely at my brain's mercy during these times.
I got to thinking about lucky I am to have such a beautiful little girl (seriously, she's so yummy that I would eat her with a spoon if I could!), but I was also thinking about how HARD it is to tend to her every need all day long. I'm not going to lie, I sometimes looked at going to work as a break from motherhood, and it was NICE!!! But now that I'm not working, it's all on me, ALL the time!!!
My husband goes to work before we wake up, and by the time he gets home, she's eating dinner and the bedtime routine is already underway. So, he only sees her like an hour or two a day! That's all folks! I feel a little resentful sometimes, but that could just be my exhaustion getting the best of me. It could be worse I guess..... We BOTH could be unemployed and our little family could be homeless on the streets. I feel guilty for even complaining, but I wonder if this is how a lot of single moms feel. Maybe it's how all stay-at-home moms feel, and I'm just still new to the game. When I figure it out, I'll let you know........
While I am NOT a single mother, I have been pretty much doing everything by myself when it comes to taking care of my daughter. Day and night. And boy, those nights can get to be pretty long. Last night was especially long because she got up at 2am and 4am, and when she finally went back to sleep, I was wide awake. The middle of the night is when I do most of my thinking. It's like my mind is running a constant commentary that has no off switch. I am completely at my brain's mercy during these times.
I got to thinking about lucky I am to have such a beautiful little girl (seriously, she's so yummy that I would eat her with a spoon if I could!), but I was also thinking about how HARD it is to tend to her every need all day long. I'm not going to lie, I sometimes looked at going to work as a break from motherhood, and it was NICE!!! But now that I'm not working, it's all on me, ALL the time!!!
My husband goes to work before we wake up, and by the time he gets home, she's eating dinner and the bedtime routine is already underway. So, he only sees her like an hour or two a day! That's all folks! I feel a little resentful sometimes, but that could just be my exhaustion getting the best of me. It could be worse I guess..... We BOTH could be unemployed and our little family could be homeless on the streets. I feel guilty for even complaining, but I wonder if this is how a lot of single moms feel. Maybe it's how all stay-at-home moms feel, and I'm just still new to the game. When I figure it out, I'll let you know........
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
So, what's with the sweatpants anyway?
Don't get me wrong, I do have other clothes in my wardrobe. But I find that wearing my favorite sweats is the equivalent to wearing a hug, or as comforting as eating mac and cheese with a side of nachos and fried chicken (which I NEVER do - I want the sweatpants experience to be something I enjoy, not something I have to do because nothing else fits. It's a slippery slope my friends, consider yourself warned.) Nevertheless, we have development a close relationship since my layoff a few months ago. And I thought it made for a cheeky title. So there you have it.
I'm new to this whole blogger thing. But after about a year of encouragement/nagging :-) from my dear friend that I used to work with, and eight weeks of spending my days talking mostly to a one year old, I've decided to go ahead and take the plunge. I'm not even telling my friends that I've started the blog for awhile. I need to get comfortable first. The thing is, I have all these ideas in my head that need to come out. Some good, some bad, some happy, some not so happy. I'm pretty much all over the place right now. So what better venue to dump all of my stuff on than the blogisphere? Lucky you!!! Stayed tuned......
I'm new to this whole blogger thing. But after about a year of encouragement/nagging :-) from my dear friend that I used to work with, and eight weeks of spending my days talking mostly to a one year old, I've decided to go ahead and take the plunge. I'm not even telling my friends that I've started the blog for awhile. I need to get comfortable first. The thing is, I have all these ideas in my head that need to come out. Some good, some bad, some happy, some not so happy. I'm pretty much all over the place right now. So what better venue to dump all of my stuff on than the blogisphere? Lucky you!!! Stayed tuned......
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