Lately I've been feeling a lot more high maintenance and needy than usual. Honestly, right now I am hungry,starving, DESPERATE for attention!!!! If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, does it make a sound if there's no one there to hear it? I am that tree. I have fallen. I think I made a sound, but all the other trees are just going on with their daily lives and business as usual.
I feel like I need several hours to talk soley about myself, my dreams, fears, losses, happiness. All about ME, without interruption. I need to be focus of attention for a while. I feel invisible, and I don't like it!!!! Can someone say "Got Therapy??"
Yes, I have wonderful groups of friends that I get to hold court with from time to time. But our gatherings are far and few between, and usually we're so happy just to see each other and catch up, that time goes flies by and its time to go home. And once the wine gets flowing and we start getting giddy, we just laugh and talk about whatever comes up. I love those nights, even if I'm not the focus of attention for the ENTIRE evening. Don't judge, I said at the beginning of this post that I'm feeling high maintenance.
Yes, I have a husband. And while he may be a sexy beast, he is also a man. This unfortunately means that his interest and tolerance for talking with me, about me, for hours on end is pretty minimal. In fact, I usually have about a 10-minute window of discussion with him before he tunes out, and things start to go south.
They say desperate times call for desperate measures. So much so that I've fantasized about putting my sweatpants away (don't worry love, it's just for a little while), and putting on something that accentuates my lovely lady lumps. I'm thinking skin tight jeans, super low cut shirt, high heels, siren red lipstick etc........ Then I'd take a stroll past a few construction sites as see how many cat calls and whistles and honks I can get!!!! It would be a definite ego booster, as shallow as it may be. I love a cheap thrill as long as no one gets hurt, and no laws or marriage vows get broken.
But unfortunately, every fantasy has an equal and opposite REALITY. And the reality is that there is no construction going on right now, so I'd be walking around, all glammed up, past empty holes in the ground!!! There would be no one to honk or whistle. LOL!!! Also, I'd probably have the baby with me because wherever I go she goes. Babies are the new accessories of 2010. Am I the only one that got the memo??? With my luck it would start pouring down rain, and I would slip and fall (since I can't walk in heels to save my life) and split my pants! My shirt (probably white) would be completely soaked through, REALLY putting "the girls" on display, my makeup running down my face giving me racoon eyes, a rip down my pants, all while I'm wobbling in my heels pushing a stroller down an empy street. NOT HOT!!!! That "S" on my chest (see previous post) would stand for SKANKY instead of Superwoman. LOL!!!
So I've decided that a healthier, more family and marriage friendly way of getting attention will be to tell my friends about this blog. That will be my cheap thrill of the day! Its kind of scary putting myself out there, but what's the worst that could happen?
